Nationwide Searcher

Activist, Lobbyist, Litigator

Author, Researcher

She became an activist the moment she planned a pregnancy outside of marriage in defiance of the public's outrage in 1968. Lori Carangelo identifies her son's conception as the beginning of her activism, although she was really just a young woman in search of motherhood. While in the process of divorce, she found a man who was willing to help her achieve this wish and she set about becoming a mother-to-be.

During this same period of time, unmarried, expectant mothers were looked down upon. Their families often viewed the evidence of their sexuality as an embarrassment that ought to be hidden away from friends and neighbors. Many were sent to maternity homes where they would give birth to their babies and then surrender them for adoption. Their pregnancies were most often unplanned and they were punished for the "sins" they had committed against traditional concepts of motherhood.

In reality, motherhood without marriage was nothing new. However, the adoption market was booming and these young mothers were used to help satisfy the demands of infertile couples who wanted to "solve" their medical problem by adopting a child. There is now an ongoing inquiry into the past treatment of surrendering mothers in Australia, and the American organization, Origins USA, is seeking similar redress in the United States. Clearly, Lori Carangelo was facing pregnancy without marriage in a very judgmental and potentially dangerous era.

On December 17, 1968, Carangelo became the mother of a baby boy. In 1969, her very planned, wanted and loved son was taken for adoption without her true consent. She was coerced into signing a revocation of her parental rights when she sought out medical and temporary foster care for her sick baby. She had previously delivered a stillborn daughter and, naturally, wanted her son to receive the best possible care. Told that he could not be treated unless she signed a document relinquishing custody to the foster care agency, and fearing for his life, Carangelo signed. She did not know that it would take years of searching to reunite with him again. Her son had been kidnapped for adoption.

While Carangelo had always been a firm believer in the importance of human rights, her activism was forced to take a new direction after her son was stolen. She began contacting the newspapers, government officials and adoption agencies from the day after he was taken and was thrust into the adoption arena with a multitude of other mothers, fathers, and adopted adults who had been wronged by the adoption industry.

The theft of Carangelo's baby was not the first time she experienced lies in relation to family. Raised as an "only child," she was not told of two half-sisters she had from her father's first marriage. In addition, the adoption of her son was possibly not the first to occur in her immediate family. Her parents had a child together before her father's divorce and it is probable that the midwife involved sold her sister for black market adoption. With three undisclosed sisters, Carangelo says "I didn't have to be an adoptee to fully appreciate the severity of loss from secrets and lies." Although it is her own son that motivated her to take action, the knowledge of these lies from her own childhood has helped to further connect her, as an activist, to the adopted people who contact her.

After the loss of her son, Carangelo immediately saw the need for open records. Adoptions were then, and are now, dealt with in a closed manner. The birth certificates of adopted children are falsified to show that the adopters are the "parents" since the date of the child's birth and an effort is made to remove all traces of the natural parents' identities. The child's original birth certificate,, reflecting the truth of his or her origins, is then sealed for posterity. These closed records are a product of the shame associated with adoption, as well as the desire of adopters to take the child "as if" the child was their own. Sealed records and falsified birth certificates continue to plague the majority of natural parents and adopted adults, as both parties are statistically apt to seek a reunion later in life. Adoptees must often conduct lengthy searches, sometimes paying high prices for bits and pieces of information about their birth, their natural parents and their adoption. Searching parents face many of the same roadblocks, as they need to find the name their child was given by the adopters, in addition to his or her whereabouts. Lori Carangelo's push for open records would give adopted people access to their original birth certificates, making it much easier to facilitate reunions with one's natural family.

Unlike many others who are seeking open records, Carangelo believes that adopted people should always have access to the information about their origins. Much of the legislation proposed by adoptee and parent organizations would provide adoptees with their records when they reach the age of majority - at either 18 or 21. Carangelo feels that adopted children are being deprived of their rights, and perhaps life saving family medical information, during the years that their records are hidden.

For 32 years, Carangelo has been fighting for open records and an end to the adoption industry, although supporters do not always deal with these separate movements. Through activism, writing, publishing, searching and frequent networking with other reformers, she has made a name for herself in the world of adoption. Lori Carangelo is committed to helping parents and adopted people today, while preventing the adoption industry from abusing others in the future.

The Beginnings of an Organization.

Carangelo spent the 1970's corresponding with government officials in Connecticut, where her son was taken from her, and in California, where she currently resides. She had contact with Connecticut's former Governor Ella T. Grasso, a woman who not only supported but also enacted legislation to help adopted people during her time in office. Carangelo later found support from Yale Law School's Clinical Law Department's Professor Steven Wizner, but also dealt with the opposition of Connecticut Probate Judge Glen Knierim, as he did not believe in any kind of adoption reform whatsoever. In California, she worked with former Governor Brown and former Governor Deukmejian's legislative committees on adoption and children's rights issues, trying to encourage both to recognize the need for open records.

In 1977, one of Carangelo's many "letters to the editor" was printed bi-coastally in both The New Haven Register and The Santa Barbara News-Press. Her letters questioned the current adoption policies as treating the child like a piece of property involved in a contract between parties, devoid of all rights in the matter. Getting these letters published was a critical step. Up to that point, she says, "It was extremely difficult to get a newspaper to print the 'a' word." Since then, Carangelo has had over 600 of her adoption-related letters and articles published in newspapers nationwide, guested on radio talk shows and has been featured in television news segments on adoption issues.

By 1988, she was conducting her activism as Americans for Open Records (AmFOR). In 1989, she gave AmFOR legal status and began publishing "The Open Record" newsletter. "The Open Record" was designed to promote activism toward abolishing the secret, sealed records system of adoption, and Carangelo always encouraged others to reproduce all or part of her publications in order to spread the message to a wider audience. The newsletter reached anywhere from 1,000 to 2,000 activists and organizations internationally and provided a updates on legislation and legal cases and a forum for searchers as well as the politically inclined.

1989 was also a year in which the hardworking activist reaffirmed her open records and anti-adoption commitment after a meeting with pioneer adoption reformer, Jean Paton. Paton, an adoptee, became Carangelo's mentor. She drew upon Paton's experiences and perceptions in both movements as well as supporting civil and human rights. Although Jean Paton is now 92 years old, she is still a source of inspiration to current reformers and Carangelo continues to contact her with news and information from the front lines.

Lobbying nationwide for several years, AmFOR helped to pass adoption reform legislation such as California's AB 548, Priority in Placement, which gives California families priority for custody of a child who has become available for adoption. In 1996, Americans For Open Records officially became a nonprofit organization.. Access Press, AmFOR's publishing division, was established in 1997. Access Press, which showcased a dozen new and controversial titles at a time from its web- site, provided a forum for authors who might be ignored by traditional publishing houses because of politically incorrect topics like open records and anti-adoption issues. The first publication by Access Press was The Ultimate Search Book, with "how to" search information and resources compiled and written by Lori Carangelo herself. From 1997 through 2000, the book, which provides information and insight for natural parents and adopted adults as well as others who are engaged in search, was revised annually, and the "2002 Edition" was published by Schenkman Books Inc.

Serving the United Nations.

It may seem amazing that one could be a local activist, gaining national contacts, and suddenly gain recognition as a data source for the United Nations. Amazing but true, Lori Carangelo became involved with the UN's "Rights of the Child" Convention, as well as the Hague World Court's Intercountry Abduction and Adoption Treaty Conferences. She was convinced that the adoption issues in the United States were truly problems of international importance as children were being taken from countries to become American adoptees under state secrecy laws. She was growing tired of American politics and special interests thwarting legislative and judicial avenues of adoption reform. Involvement in the United Nations project seemed the best way to help educate all nations on the problems of adoption.

When Carangelo found that the only American groups providing information to the United Nations were adoption agencies that were obviously very much in favor of both adoption itself and the closed records system, she was further motivated to share the information she had collected over the years. Following the traditional methods of gaining access to the UN, she contacted the U.S. Department Of State requesting that AmFOR be used as a source of statistical data and input regarding true experiences of adopted people and natural parents. Ideally, her involvement would help assert the human rights of adoptees and parents in the United States as well as the rest of the world.

The legal advisor in the State Department, Peter Pfund, responded with his own opinion that "a child who has been illegally kidnapped from another country can be legally adopted under state [sealed adoption] laws in the U.S. if in his best interests." AmFOR was denied access to the United Nations via the State Department, but Carangelo did not give up. AmFOR was able to provide data to the UN and Hague Court directly, bypassing the State Department while still receiving State Department memos and agendas and the draft Convention and Conference updates. The information that Carangelo included involved people with emotional stake in the adoption industry as parents and adoptees, rather than agency professionals. Information Carangelo provided from groups, legal cases and newsstories was used to help the U.N. formulate an opinion on the American realities of adoption without depending solely on adoption agencies that stood to gain financially from their involvement. AmFOR was merely seeking justice.

After All is Said and Done.

It is important to recognize that Lori Carangelo is not working in a society that universally shares her ideals and values regarding the adoption industry. Like the United Nations delegation to the UN Conventions, adoption agencies still wield power here. Public officials in offices as high as the Presidency continue to promote adoption, without truly considering the ramifications it has on individuals. Motivated my money, politicians see adoption as a way to reach common ground between anti-abortion and pro-choice organizations, while largely ignoring the groups who speak out against adoption. It would be easy to dismiss activists like Lori Carangelo in the present state of our society.

However, Carangelo has made a name for herself because of the contributions she has made, both as an individual--a published author quoted in Greenhaven Press' "Opposing Viewpoints" series and listed in biographical directories--and as the woman behind AmFOR and the Abolish Adoption petition web-site at amfor.net.

Possessing a dissenting voice is critical to creating a successful reform movement. Refusing to equivocate led African Americans to achieve legal equality in the 1950's and 1960's. The same is true for the women who fought for suffrage and won after years of unwillingness to compromise. Going against the norms established in any society is not a simple feat, and it requires strong will, dedication and determination. Fortunately, Lori Carangelo embodies all three of those characteristics.

Her political contributions as a dissenting voice cannot be ignored. Providing expert advice and information to policy makers and shapers like the United Nations is critical in helping to make change occur. The U.N. currently takes the position that adoption should be left as a "last resort" for children, and certainly Carangelo's participation had a real impact on that conclusion. Unfortunately, the United States did not sign the treaty that came out of the Hague Intercountry Adoption Convention, and while her work has helped to promote family togetherness overseas, that particular contribution remains underground in America.

Agenda-setting is another critical role of any interest group, and Lori Carangelo has used AmFOR to help promote the open records and anti-adoption agendas in the United States. In addition to the previously mentioned search book, her latest book, also published in 2001 by "scholarly book" publisher, Schenkman Books Inc., "Chosen Children: Billion Dollar Babies in America's Foster Care, Adoption & Prison Systems" raises awareness of only adoption issues and alternatives. It also gives a voice to the 2-million Americans who are presently incarcerated, particularly incarcerated adoptees, and sheds light on the necessity for prisoners' rights reforms for the benefit of all of society.

Her free e-books at amfor.net include Statistics of Adoption, Infertility Cures (Instead of Adoption) and Adopt-A-Quote which raise awareness of the problems inherent in adoption. Additionally, Chosen Children helps educate the reader about the people behind the statistics. Following in-depth discussion of the problems with and alternatives to the present foster care, adoption and prison systems, the book then focuses on the real people who have been abused by the adoption industry. In researching for this book, Carangelo found an astonishing number of adoptees imprisoned and found each had similar behavior patterns resulting from their adoptions. These studies led to her interest in the prisoner's rights movement. Carangelo uses Chosen Children to shed new light on many of the adoption related stories one hears about in one-sided media portrayals but never fully understands.

Being a dissenter, her works are of critical importance. Her writing is like nothing else available in print, which makes it all the more critical in the political context of our society. Legislators need a chance to see adoption from a new angle, from those who favor both open records and family preservation. The information that Lori Carangelo presents in her books can better equip politicians and lawmakers to deal with the adoption cases that pass over their desks.

Of course, AmFOR does not wait to receive requests from pubic officials. Carangelo has devoted constant energy to making contact with the powers that be in an attempt to assure that they become educated. She has also been tireless when it comes to working with other adoption reform organizations like the open records group, ABORN, and the anti-adoption group Adoption: Legalized Lies. Though her books provide a wonderful source of written information for anyone considering adoption or seeking to join the reform movements, she never uses writing as an excuse to avoid personal interactions with other reformers.

Since her involvement in prisoner rights issues began, Carangelo has also been devoting more time to helping individual prisoners with their issues, and with reuniting them with "birth" family members. AmFOR is inundated with prisoner requests for such help from those who feel they could benefit from knowing their parents and extended families, and Carangelo has been more than willing to spend her time and effort helping them complete their searches. Although it might not appear to be a political achievement, AmFOR has been involved in reunions of over 14,000 families and still responds to daily inquiries individually. However, giving out advice and actual assistance to so many people is not merely an act of charity. It is an act of political resistance -- civil disobedience — in a society that continues to perpetuate the myth that adopted people and their natural parents should feel no need to know about or contact each other. It has been just in the past few years that the states have begun to pass some mild forms of open records legislation although tied to a legal system by disgruntled adopters and a minority of natural parents who have been misled to believe they had a guarantee of anonymity for life and that the adoptee would forever remain a child in the eyes of the law. The number of reunions facilitated by AmFOR is living proof that American adoptees and parents want to know each other and certainly this information is necessary to keep the open records and anti- adoption organizations alive.

An Unfair Trade.

Despite achieving much success as an activist and author, Lori Carangelo was never again given a chance to do the one thing that mattered most to her: she was not allowed to raise her son. Although she will always be his mother, the adoption industry has deprived her of the right to fully act as a mother should, preventing her from being a constant presence and participant in her son's life. Her years of searching paid off and she is fortunate enough to have a post-adoption relationship with the man he has become, but she knows that her successes as an activist were not free. She says "If I have succeeded in spreading ideals, fostering activism, helping families reconnect, is it ever a "fair trade" for a "normal life" and loss of family?

In general, Carangelo is hesitant to talk about the obstacles that have been part of her career in activism. She feels that many people have conflicting ideas about what really constitutes an obstacle, often using the notion of an "obstacle" as an excuse for not trying to succeed. Overall, she says that her biggest roadblock has, itself, been impetus for change — that of "separatism and diversity of interests." She has found that, while specific adoption laws force the will of a few powerful people upon the masses, human rights is all inclusive and benefits everyone. Adoption itself is not done in the best interests of either the child or society, as it is in the business of depriving people of their rights, rather than assisting them to assert their rights.

Another obstacle to anyone attempting to reform or abolish adoption is public opinion. Although politically active mothers, adopted adults and adoption professionals in Australia have been able to educate that nation to view adoption as a last resort rather than as a "loving option," the United States has a long way to go. Despite research that has been appearing since the 1940's detailing the negative effects of adoption on adopted children, Americans as a society seem very willing to ignore the pitfalls of adoption. This presents a serious problem for reformers and adoption abolitionists like Lori Carangelo. Like their predecessors in the Civil Rights and Women's Suffrage movements, they must expend a tremendous amount of time and energy on public education campaigns before change can occur.

Of course, in the area of adoption reform, womanhood is a serious issue. Most of the citizens who become active in either a reform or abolishionist movement against the current adoption industry are women who have been affected by adoption as either mothers or adoptees. These people often view adoption as an industry that preys on a woman's ability to reproduce, abusing fertile women who are deemed "unworthy" as mothers because of their age, socioeconomic status or marital situation. While fathers and male adoptees can be equally damaged by adoption and have been supporting reform and abolition in increasing numbers, it is primarily the mothers and their grown daughters who have begun standing up for their rights. They are unified by their desire to prevent others from enduring the heartache and confusion that stems from living and adoption-afflicted lie.

Socially Significant.

Through AmFOR, and as a concerned individual, Carangelo has had a profound impact on thousands of lives. As part of her crusade for open records, AmFOR has helped to reunite more than 14,000 individuals free of charge. She has also been especially supportive of the imprisoned adoptees who contact her, wanting to meet their natural families in order to better understand themselves. Although she has an exceedingly busy career as a writer and activist, she makes a point of responding to the multitude of search requests that she receives every day. With her help, thousands of families have been made whole again.

In addition, Carangelo has impacted the lives of her fellow activists. She is a source of information and inspiration, and seems to be tireless when it comes to seeking her goals. Although AmFOR remains separatist from other reform organizations, and therefore unconflicted, Carangelo has helped introduce many blossoming activists to one another. In addition, her networking has helped to inform politicians, policymakers and other reformers.

It is impossible to count how many people Carangelo and her work has touched in her lifetime. It is estimated that approximately half the United States population has an adoption in their immediate family, and research has shown that as much as 99% of adopted adults and natural parents wish to find their lost family for a reunion. With numbers like that, it is clear that open adoption records would benefit the majority of people involved in the institution of adoption. Adopted people have a more difficult time.

Closed records also present the problem of the lack of reliable, updated family medical information for adopted people, their children and their natural parents. Adoptees do not have access to their own medical backgrounds, which has reportedly often led to serious complications and even death, because their doctors did not know their genetic risk factors, so did not know what to look for. Increasingly, there have been cases where adoptees have needed a bone marrow or organ transplant from a donor who is the best biological match--the adoptee's natural parents or other family members--but courts and agencies usually have refused to permit the adoptee, even via a confidential intermediary, from contacting family members to inquire as to their willingness to be tested as a donor.

The same is true of natural parents who lost a child to adoption. The lack of medical information with regard to the adoptee prevents them from being aware of complications that may also arise with their subsequent children and so jeopardizes the natural siblings as well. Being devoid of medical knowledge is nothing less than detrimental to one's health.

One cannot forget to consider the psychological effects of adoption itself. Adopted people, although reportedly estimated to be only 2-3% of the American population, make up as much as 45% of the patients in psychiatric treatment facilities. Another startling fact is that 76% of the world's serial killers are adoptees. Obviously, taking a child from his or her natural family and raising him or her "as if born to" strangers is not to the benefit of that child's psychological health. Include the knowledge that 45% of juvenile felonies are committed by adopted children, and it is clear that adoption is unhealthy for society as a whole. Helping to reform and abolish adoption is not only in the best interests of children: it is beneficial to all.

Natural parents also suffer greatly from the loss of their children. They experience a range of psychological problems including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, anger, an inability to trust, and a tendency to live in extremes. Many experience secondary infertility, and others choose not to relive their agonizing first pregnancy and loss by having a second child. Still others go on to have more babies than they would have otherwise, as an attempt to replace their lost children. Of course, it is impossible to replace one's offspring, and most natural parents live with the regret and anguish over the adoption of their child the rest of their lives. One of the most popular "birth" mother slogans is "Birth" mothers are like elephants - they never forget." Reunion, a complicated emotional experience in and of itself, at least gives parents a chance to express the love they have carried for their children. Still other parents like Carangelo have become active in the reform movement in order to prevent others from facing the same loss.

A Mother's Life.

It is certain that Lori Carangelo will be remembered for her many contributions to the fields of adoption reform, abolition, and human rights over the past 32 years. She has already received recognition of her efforts from Marquis' "Who's Who of American Women," 1999 through 2001, and other biographical directories. Carangelo can be remembered in any number of roles, as an activist, author, publisher, reformer, searcher or researcher, but above all, she is a Mother doing what mothers do best — looking out for the best interests of the world's children.

Bibliography

Abolish Adoption (Home) Page. Abolish Adoption - A Petition. http://amfor.net
Last accessed May 14, 2001.

Adoption: Legalized Lies Home Page. Adoption: Legalized Lies, Inc. http://www.antiadoption.org
Last accessed May 14, 2001.

Americans For Open Records (AmFOR) Home Page. AmFOR.
http://amfor.net/amfor.html. Last accessed May 14, 2001

Baran, Annette; Reuben Pannor and Arthur Sorosky, The Adoption Triangle. Corona Publishing Co., Texas, 1984.

Carangelo, Lori. Chosen Children: Billion Dollar Babies in America's Foster Care, Adoption & Prison Systems, Schenkman Books, Inc., 2001

Carangelo, Lori. Interview. May 18, 2001.

Carangelo, Lori. Statistics of Adoption -2000 Edition, e-book online.
http://amfor.net/statistics.html. Last accessed May 14, 2001

Carangelo, Lori. The Ultimate Search Book - 2002 Edition, Schenkman Books, Inc, 2001.

Origins USA-An Inquiry Home Page. Origins USA.
http://www.originsusa.com. Last accessed May 14, 2001.

Jones, Mary Bloch. Birthmothers. Chicago Review Press, Illinois, 1993.

Wells, Sue. Within Me, Without Me. Scarlet Press, London, England, 1994.

"ABOLISH ADOPTION" - A PETITION
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Date Last Updated: April 21, 2008
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